welcome to
how to raise a mentch
As a mom - do you sometimes feel like a correction officer?
Breaking up fights, correcting behaviors, picking on words, nagging about eating, or clean up or. . . or. . . or hundreds of behaviors you're sure will never change?
Does it feel like some days are spent running from one emergency to the next until landing in bed exhausted, depleted, and NOT looking forward to waking up and doing it all over again?
It doesn’t have to be that way!
With just a bit of knowledge you can have a completely different kind of home starting TODAY!
WELCOME TO "HOW TO RAISE A MENTCH!"
Sign up for this 18 minute Zoom class for Moms
Tuesday Evenings, 9:00 - 9:18 PM ET
Led by Itty Kay we take 18 minutes to learn crucial insights about raising children from Teachings of the Rebbe on Chinuch. Sign up below for the call-in info and a weekly Whatsapp reminder.
Scroll down to listen to previous classes.
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How to Raise a Mentch 2.0
How to Raise a Mentch 1.0
Class Thirteen
9 Shvat 5780, February 04, 2020
Presenter: Itty Kay
"During the time of their exodus from Egypt the people of Israel were called Tzivot Hashem - The Legions of G-d - because of the divine sparks they retrieved during their exile in Egypt"
(Basi Legani 5740, Chapter 3, paragraph 2
www.lahak.org/templates/lahak/ar…48640/jewish/-.htm)
"...Within each of a Jew's possessions there are sparks of holiness that belong to the root of his soul. This is why the Torah is so protective over the property of the Jewish people. Because when property (money, possessions etc) belongs to a Jew, it indicates that these sparks belong to his particular soul, and elevating these sparks are part of his individual mission. "
(Basi Legani 5740, Chapter 8
www.lahak.org/templates/lahak/ar…48640/jewish/-.htm)
“...Although the ideal of peace is so prominent in the Torah, as mentioned, the fact is that G‑d designed and created the world in a way that leaves man subject to an almost constant inner strife, having to wage relentless battle with the Yetzer Hora [evil inclination].
“Indeed, the Zohar points out that the Hebrew term for bread— lechem—is derived from the same root that denotes “war,” symbolizing the concept of the continuous struggle between the base and sublime natures in man, whether he eats his bread as a glutton, in a way an animal eats its food, or on a higher level—to keep the body healthy in order to be able to do what is good and right in accordance with the Will of the Creator.
“This is the only kind of “battle” the Tzivos Hashem are called upon to wage. By the same token, the only “secret weapon” they are encouraged to use is strict Shabbos observance and other Mitzvoth which have been the secrets of Jewish strength throughout the ages.”
(Letter of the Rebbe from 26th of Teves, 5742, reprinted with permission from Chabad.org)
Teachings of the Rebbe on Chinuch, Pages 271-271
“Who is strong? One who overpowers his inclinations. As is stated (Proverbs 16:32), "Better one who is slow to anger than one with might, one who rules his spirit than the captor of a city."
(Ethics of our Fathers 4:1)
Summary:
When we know that our lives are not about WHAT WE HAVE, but all about WHAT WE DO with what we have (including the struggles we're given) we transform from "worriers"... into "G-d's Warriors" - transforming the world one spark at a time!
💝These classes are a lifeline for moms worldwide. We count our your donations to keep these classes going. Please consider sponsoring a class in honor of someone special in your life at paypal.me/jewishmotherhood.💝
Find more classes and events at Baischana.org
Class Twelve
2 Shvat 5780, January 28, 2020
Presenter: Itty Kay
Misplaced Humility
“...Based on the Teachings of the Baal Shem Tov, that an excess of humility in a person can cause him to be distanced from serving G-d, because by putting himself down - he doesn’t believe that through his prayers and Torah study, he draws down abundant G-dliness into all the worlds, so that even the angels get sustained through his Torah study and prayers. If he only would believe this, how much would he serve G-d with a greater joy and awe than anything else in the entire world!...”
(Basi Legani 5720, S’if Beis, Paragraph 3)
Teaching hashgacha pratis
“The Baal Shem Tov once sent Rabbi Chaim Rappaport [a great Torah scholar]159 to a certain spot, and at that place he quenched his thirst from the wellspring. Afterwards, the Baal Shem Tov told him that this wellspring had been waiting since the Six Days of Creation for Rabbi Chaim Rappaport to come and recite a bracha on the water from that spring.
“Similarly, … a Jewish boy or girl is walking on the street, becomes thirsty, and wants to drink water, and not only in order to quench his or her thirst, but in order to have a clear mind for learning Torah. At that precise moment, a truck passes by selling kosher drinks. The Jewish boy or girl should know that although the person selling the drinks does not know the child at all, knows nothing about their thirst and how much more so does he not know that a Jewish child will be passing by on his exact route – despite all this, it is no coincidence; rather, it is by hashgacha pratis.
“Hashem orchestrated all the details so that the man selling the beverages would wake up at a certain time that day and go out with his truck at the precise moment when the Jewish child would be there, so that the truck would arrive and the two would meet. All this happened so the child would have something to drink and would not be uncomfortable due to thirst, and in this way, he can have a clear mind to study Torah... And the truth is that that street corner where the child made the bracha on the water and drank had waited since the Six Days of Creation for a Jewish child to come to that spot and bless Hashem! …
“A Jewish child should be taught that Hashem עושה נפלאות גדולות (“performs great wonders and miracles”)[Tehillim, 136:4.] and arranges all the particulars of the world in order to fulfill his needs, such as food, drink, and the like….
“A child who is told this and given this kind of chinuch [to recognize hashgacha pratis] will relate to the world, and his portion of the world in particular, in an entirely different manner.
“… A child readily accepts that every teaching in Torah and Chassidus is given by the Echad ve’Yachid, the One to whom he davens: Hashem’s Essence. [Cf. Derech Mitzvosecha, Shoresh Mitzvas Hateffillah ch. 8.]”
(Sichos Kodesh 5741, vol. 1, pp. 245-247.)
(Likkutei Dibburim, vol. 4, 596a ff.)
Teachings of the Rebbe on Chinuch Pages 52 - 53
“The world was created for me” – expressed appropriately
“The adage, “Every person must say: ‘For my sake, the world was created” [Sanhedrin, 37a.] applies to children as well. On the contrary, a child naturally feels that the entire world was created for him, even though children need the assistance of their parents at every step of the way. … However, they should be educated to express this feeling in the appropriate way.”
(171 Hisvaaduyos 5750, vol. 2, p. 139.)
Teachings of the Rebbe on Chinuch page 55
Summary:
1 - A child must know that G-d is always taking care of him - arranging matters for his benefit without him even knowing
2 - A child must know that every mitzvah s/he does, prayer s/he says, Torah s/he studies affects the entire world, including the angels!
💝These classes are a lifeline for moms worldwide. Please consider sponsoring a class in honor of someone special in your life at paypal.me/jewishmotherhood.💝
Find more classes and events at Baischana.org
Class Eleven
24 Shvat 5780, January 21, 2020
Presenter: Itty Kay
"Every boy and girl should have a personal Siddur and write 'LaHashem Ha’aretz Umelo’oh' (The world and everything in it is Hashem’s) [Tehillim, 24:1] inside the front cover. The child will see this while davening each day and will remember that the whole world belongs to Hakadosh Baruch Hu.
"Under the pasuk LaHashem Ha’aretz Umelo’oh , the child should write his Jewish name and this will indicate that he devotes himself to Hashem.
"It will also remind him of his Jewish name. ..."
(Likkutei Sichos, volume 14, pages 279-280.
Teachings of the Rebbe on Chinuch, pages 42-43
G-d custom creates every circumstance for each of us:
www.chabad.org/library/tanya/tan…ish/Chapter-1.htm
These classes are a lifeline for hundreds of moms worldwide. To sponsor this class or make a donation to keep these classes going, please go to paypal.me/jewishmotherhood.
Class Ten - Bonus: Live Event
17 Shvat 5780, January 15, 2020
Presenter: Itty Kay
Story of the Baal Shem Tov at the Rebbe's Farbrengen: [Original Hebrew Text] hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req…8879&st=&pgnum=84
Likutei Amarim Tanya Chapter 26:
"This must be made known as a cardinal principle: just as it is with a victory over a physical opponent; for instance, two people who wrestle with each other, each striving to fell the other. If one of them is sluggish he will easily be defeated and will fall, even if he be stronger than the other. Similarly with the conquest of one’s undesirable nature. It is impossible to conquer the evil nature with sluggishness, which stem from sadness and a stone-like dullness of the heart, but rather with alacrity, which derives from joy and an open i.e., responsive heart that is UNBLEMISHED BY ANY TRACE OF WORRY AND SADNESS IN THE WORLD."
(www.chabad.org/library/tanya/tan…sh/Chapter-26.htm)
Likutei Amarim Tanya Chapter 12:
"Instead, immediately upon [the undesirable thought’s] rising to [the mind], he — the Beinoni (one who aims to serve G-d) — thrusts it aside as it were with both hands, and averts his mind from it."
(www.chabad.org/dailystudy/tanya.…p?tdate=1/14/2020)
Rabbi Shmuel Lew recalls his private audience with the Rebbe:
www.chabad.org/therebbe/livingto…Spare-the-Rod.htm
Summary:
1 - Get past a difficult moment by replacing negative thoughts with this one important thought: "What's needed next? What does my child need next?"
2 - Enjoy, take pleasure in and value the moments of connection that occur when you transform a moment of potential anger to a moment of compassion and connection.
To sponsor this class or make a donation please go to paypal.me/jewishmotherhood
Class Ten
17 Shvat 5780, January 15, 2020
Presenter: Itty Kay
Likutei Amarim Tanya Chapter 26:
"This must be made known as a cardinal principle: just as it is with a victory over a physical opponent; for instance, two people who wrestle with each other, each striving to fell the other. If one of them is sluggish he will easily be defeated and will fall, even if he be stronger than the other. Similarly with the conquest of one’s undesirable nature. It is impossible to conquer the evil nature with sluggishness, which stem from sadness and a stone-like dullness of the heart, but rather with alacrity, which derives from joy and an open i.e., responsive heart that is UNBLEMISHED BY ANY TRACE OF WORRY AND SADNESS IN THE WORLD."
(www.chabad.org/library/tanya/tan…sh/Chapter-26.htm)
Likutei Amarim Tanya Chapter 12:
"Instead, immediately upon [the undesirable thought’s] rising to [the mind], he — the Beinoni (one who aims to serve G-d) — thrusts it aside as it were with both hands, and averts his mind from it."
(www.chabad.org/dailystudy/tanya.…p?tdate=1/14/2020)
Story of the Baal Shem Tov at the Rebbe's Farbrengen: [Original Hebrew Text] hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req…8879&st=&pgnum=84
Summary:
1 - Get past a difficult moment by replacing negative thoughts with this one important thought: "What's needed next? What does my child need next?"
2 - Enjoy, take pleasure in and value the moments of connection that occur when you transform a moment of potential anger to a moment of compassion and connection.
To sponsor this class or make a donation please go to paypal.me/jewishmotherhood
Class Nine - Bonus: Live event "Leaning in.. To Our Homes"
10 Shvat 5780, January 7, 2020
Presenter: Itty Kay
The objective of today's class is to reclaim the right and permission to LEAN IN fully into caring for our families and to let go of any of the voices in our head that try to convince us that we really ought to be doing something else or something “more”, or as some voices convince us - “something more important”.
Can I confidently LEAN IN to take care of my family and NOT feel guilty that I’m not doing other "more important" things??
Please read the Rebbe's letter here:
docs.google.com/document/d/1_qAcH…HTkyS3ML5trUk9PVA
💝This class was lovingly sponsored by our dear Natalie Rice in honor of Bina Bracha's birthday. May you raise her to Torah, Chupa and Maasim Tovim and so much nachas! 💝
To sponsor a class or make a donation please go to paypal.me/Jewishmotherhood
Class Nine
10 Shvat 5780, January 7, 2020
Presenter: Itty Kay
The objective of tonight’s class is to reclaim the right and permission to LEAN IN fully into caring for our families and to let go of any of the voices in our head that try to convince us that we really ought to be doing something else or something “more”, or as some voices convince us - “something more important”.
Can I confidently LEAN IN to take care of my family and NOT feel guilty that I’m not doing other "more important" things??
Please read the Rebbe's letter here:
docs.google.com/document/d/1_qAcH…HTkyS3ML5trUk9PVA
💝This class was lovingly sponsored by our dear Natalie Rice in honor of Bina Bracha's birthday. May you raise her to Torah, Chupa and Maasim Tovim and so much nachas! 💝
To sponsor a class or make a donation please go to paypal.me/Jewishmotherhood
Class Eight
3 Shvat 5760, December 31, 2019
Presenter: Itty Kay
“It is fitting and correct to utilize the Jewish Tradition of giving sifrei kodesh as gifts; including to small children as well, on their joyous occasions or before a Yom Tov and so on.”
(Hisvaaduyos 5752, vol 2, p 76)
Book* p 82
Room full of Sefarim
“It is very important for children to have sifrei kodesh in their bedroom, as the very presence of sefarim in their room makes a strong impression on them...
“The same is true of the child’s bedroom. Although there are other things in the room, such as a bed, table, etc. (and kedusha objects such as the tallis katan for a boy and Shabbos licht for a girl), the main purpose of the room is to be a חדר מלא ספרים .
“Therefore one should “fill” the room with at least a Chumash, Siddur, and Haggadah of Pesach. … It would be even better to add a sefer Tehillim...."
(Hisvaaduyos 5747, vol 2, p 648)
Book* p 40
For Infants
“It is worthwhile, and most correct, that immediately after a boy or girl is born, a letter in a Sefer Torah be purchased on his behalf ... This draws down success and bracha into the child’s life, materially and spiritually.
“In addition, through this the child unites with all Bnei Yisrael in the entire world, and beyond – with all generations, since each Sefer Torah is copied from a Sefer Torah before it, spanning back all the way to the Sefer Torah that was written by Moshe Rabeinu..."
(Hisvaaduyos 5746, vol 4, p 287)
Book* p 88
Children using sefarim
“Surely it should be explained to the children that they should not worry that in using their sefarim so much, the sefarim may become worn out and ripped, for they are promised that [in such a case], new sefarim that are even nicer will be bought for them.
“In regard to infants, the fear of ruining and ripping sefarim is greater, as our Sages say on the pasuk ודגלו עלי אהבה (“He skips over Me with love”),[Shir HaShirim, 2:4.] “Even when a Jewish infant [unknowingly] jumps on the written Name of G-d … His jumping upon Me is love!”...”
(Hisvaaduyos 5748, volume 2, p 172-173, fn 89)
Book* p 43
Every Jewish child is “judge” and “officer” over his room
“Every Jewish child should be the “judge” and “officer” over his own personal conduct and his room: the room with his sefarim, tzedakah pushka, and other belongings. [He should ensure] that everything is put in its proper place, that the sefarim are clean, and that each book is available when he needs to learn from it.
“ [The child ensures that] ... on Shabbos and Yom Tov [the tzedakah pushka] is placed in a location high up and out of reach...
“He will also arrange the other objects in his room so that they are available when needed, but if they are Muktzeh, then on Shabbos and Yom Tov they will be placed high up out of reach, so that they won’t be touched.
"The children should influence their friends to do the same with their belongings in their own rooms.”
(Hisvaaduyos 5749, vol 4, p 215)
Book* p 42
Pushka nailed to the wall
“...The [child’s] room should contain a tzedakah pushka...
“…The tzedakah pushka should be nailed to the wall, turning the entire room into a חדר של צדקה (room of tzedakah)...
“Efforts should be made to put the tzedakah pushka in a noticeable place. Then, when the child has a guest who is unaware of such things for whatever reason, the guest will ask, “What’s this?” ...His host will respond that...with a tzedakah pushka, one fulfills the great mitzvah of giving money to the poor.
“This will immediately awaken in the guest his Jewish nature ... and he will decide to do the same in his own room...."
(Hisvaaduyos 5748, vol 4, p 346)
Book* p 41-42
Summary:
1 - How precious the child is to G-d
2 - The child takes responsibility for himself and his things
3 - The child influences others
*Book: Teachings of the Rebbe on Chinuch
To sponsor a class please go to paypal.me/jewishmotherhood. Thank you!
Class Seven
22 Kislev 5780, December24, 2019
Class Six Supplement - Special 19 Kislev Edition
19 Kislev 5780, December 17 2019
The book of Tanya, Likuttei Amarim, Chapters 1 - 3
Class Six
20 Kislev 5780, December 18 2019
What did our grandmothers know?
“The Zohar tells us that Sara symbolizes the body and Avraham - the soul”
(Likuttei Sichos 1, Parshas Chayei Sara, page 31)
“In addition to such mitzvos as candle-lighting, challoh and others which Torah entrusted primarily to Jewish daughters, there are matters which, in the natural order of things, lie in the woman’s domain. The reason for this being so in the natural order is that it stems from the supra-natural order of holiness, which is the source and origin of the good in the physical world.”
(Rebbe's letter to the editors of "A Woman of Valour", can be found in the beginning of A Woman of Valour)
“Finally it is to be remembered that the Creator has provided each and every Jewish woman with the capacity to carry them out in daily life in the fullest measure, for otherwise, it would not be logical or fair of G-d to give obligations and duties which are impossible to fulfil.”
(Rebbe's letter to the editors of "A Woman of Valour", can be found in the beginning of A Woman of Valour)
"...the Jewish mother imparts to her children a unique enjoyment and warmth toward Torah and mitzvos through her innate refined and loving nature, characteristic of Jewish women.
“This in turn inculcates in the child, - even when the child grows old - a deep love and cherishing of Torah and Mitzvos.”
(Sefer Hasichos 5752, Volume 2, page 357)
From: Teachings of the Rebbe on Chinuch, page 206
Class Five
Tired of Being Tired? {Part 2)
12 Kislev 5780, December 10, 2019
Along with our unique circumstances, our mission, we are given unique strengths:
"In her situation, having been handed this role of great responsibility, along with the privilege and overwhelming fortune - in her own words - to raise three wonderful sons and one amazing daughter, sheyichyu, it’s certain that the Creator of the world, the One who runs it, gives her ALL the strength needed for this, including self confidence and encouragement.”(Likkutei Sichos, vol. 35, p. 269, A letter of the Rebbe on 25 Elul 5736)Our expectations (that we expect of ourselves as moms): Essential or Expendable? Educational or External?"Parents’ primary devotion should be to provide their children with chinuch according to Torah and Mitzvohs so that their children will grow to be chassidim, yerei Shamayim, and Torah scholars, through which they bring eternal good fortune to both their children and the parents.
"However, when parents are instead preoccupied with dressing their child in expensive clothing, so that their child will be better-dressed than the neighbors’ children, this kind of satisfaction can last a day, a week, a month, or a year. However, afterwards, when the child grows older, it will be apparent that he wasn’t given true good fortune, which would have led to a lifetime of happiness.”
(Torahs Menachem, volume 19, page 65)
From: Teachings of the Rebbe on Chinuch, page 190
Our natural desire: We WANT the best for our children:
"One of the most important things in the life of a person is his relationship with his children. It may even be said that a person’s true character is evident in his relationship with his children. Even in situations in which a person would suffice with the minimum if it were only for his own sake, when it comes to his children, his attitude is different. If he is befitting of the title adam, he wants only the best for his children and spares no efforts - to the point of self-sacrifice - to provide for his children and not just the basic necessities, in both material and spiritual matters.”
(Hisvaaduyos 5744, volume 1, page 105)
From: Teachings of the Rebbe on Chinuch, page 194
We must identify what's TRULY best for them vs interfering:
"It is known that among the main obligations of a woman and mother - and this is also her merit - is to conduct her home in accordance with the instructions of our Torah and mitzvos, in the chinuch of sons and daughters, and so forth. From the above it follows that anything that interferes with this, even if it only causes a weakening [in her ability to carry out her role in the fullest], should be rejected completely, since this prevents her from fulfilling the duty with which she has been charged by the Giver of the Torah and Creator of the world.”
(Igros Kodesh, volume 14, page 436)
From: Teachings of the Rebbe on Chinuch, page 217
Summary: Make a list - in your mind, on paper... What expectations are vital for your child's true well being and what expectations have you, as a mom, picked up along the way that you may now let go of?
Moving forward - instead of my home being a place where I'm pressured and rushed and agitated - what can help me be more delighted when I am in my own home surrounded by these incredible children that G-d has given to me to care for and raise?
Class Four
Tired of Being Tired? Part 1
What's the value of all this daily minuiae?
5 Kislev 5780, December 03, 2019
Enthusiasm through understanding the value in each parenting moment!
“Every Mitzvah has a limitation, even donning tefillin. In contrast, the influence of chinuch has no limitations: It remains in full force for that child, his family, and his grandchildren for all generations.
(Mikdash Melech, Volume 2, Page 427)
From: Teachings of the Rebbe on Chinuch, page 7
“As has often been mentioned before, every activity in Chinuch should be carried out with particular enthusiasm, inasmuch as it is like planting a seed, or taking care of a seedling, where every additional effort, however small, will eventually be translated into extraordinary benefits when the said seed or seedling becomes a mature fruit-bearing tree. The same is true of the care taken to shield the seed or seedling from harmful effects.
“By the same token, it will be realized that, although Mitzvos and good deeds should be done without thought for reward, nevertheless the reward for every activity in Chinuch is greater than the reward for any other Mitzvah, inasmuch as the effects are lasting and cumulative and reproduced from generation to generation.”
(Letters from the Rebbe, Volume 2, page 88)
From: Teachings of the Rebbe on Chinuch, page 6
“...Everything we do should be done in a manner of ישׂמח ישׂראל בּעושׂיו, with simchah and enjoyment and not as a person is commanded to do, without experiencing pleasure from it, or experiencing only a little bit of enjoyment.
“...Moreover, this joy is not only their own, but the joy is בּעושׂיו (in their Maker), in the simcha of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, Who created the heavens and earth and chose כּל מי שׁהוא מזרע ישׂראל (whomever is among the decendants of Yisrael) to transform the world into a dwelling place for Him.
“All this begins with little children, who also stand in a state of great joy, knowing that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is rejoicing together with them - and what’s more, that this is the joy of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Then all the above matters are done with sinchah, strength, and enthusiasm, and thus everything they do is even more successful.”
(Sichos Kodesh 5736, page 148, Sichas Rosh Chodesh Iyar)
From: Teachings of the Rebbe on Chinuch, page 98
Class Three
Dealing with Negative Behaviors
28 Cheshvan 5780, November 26, 2019
As a parent, do you feel like most days, despite your best intentions you end up feeling more like a police officer around your children than like an educator?
- Like you’re constantly correcting behaviors, picking on the words they’re using, breaking up fights, saying things like “don’t do that” or “don’t do it that way” , "take your elbows off the table", "stop teasing each other", "put your backpack away"…?
- Like you fall into bed at the end of the day exhausted, depleted and definitely NOT looking forward to waking up and doing it all over again?
What’s wrong with what we’re doing? Aren’t we supposed to help our children correct their behaviors? Don’t we want to raise a mentch who speaks respectfully, cleans up after himself, learns when he’s supposed to...
Learn the Rebbe's insight into transforming the unwanted behaviors of our children from the Chassidic discourse "Vayiten Lecha HaElokim" 5728 (1968): hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req…068&st=&pgnum=369
Class Two
Preparing the Environment for Education
21 Cheshvan 5780, November 19, 2019
Preparing your child for life through creating a holy environment, gratitude to G-d and delight in your child!
"The chinuch ליראה את ה' ולאהבה אותו ולזכרו תמיד “to fear Hashem, love Him, and remember Him always” [Shulchan Aruch Admor Hazaken, Orach Chaim 46:1] begins the moment a baby is born. This is accomplished through having a mezuzah on his door, Shir Hamaalos, and so on, and by the father and mother as well as all who surround the baby blessing, praising, and thanking Hakadosh Baruch Hu in response to seeing this movements, development, delighting in the baby, and so on.”
(Hisvaaduyos 5741, volume 1, page 316)
From: Teachings of the Rebbe on Chinuch, page 25
1 - The Environment we create around the child
"...through having a mezuzah on his door, Shir Hamaalos, and so on,
Child’s environment through the things he sees, hears and eats. "
Sees - Alef Beis, holy people, kosher animals
Hears - holy, peaceful, even when they’re a day old infant
Eats - including what the mother eats during pregnancy
"Since every food a person eats becomes his 'flesh and blood,' the Torah forbade certain foods in order that the characteristics of the forbidden foods, which are undesirable, will not become part of a person's nature." (Likkutei Sichos, volume 1, page 223)
2 - Rejoicing in G-d’s blessings
"...by the father and mother as well as all who surround the baby blessing, praising, and thanking Hakadosh Baruch Hu in response to seeing this movements, development…"
Are we constantly worried about what’s missing or do we celebrate what’s right and working correctly? Do we point our all the milestones they ARE hitting and achieving?
Watch the Rebbe guide a worried couple struggling with exactly this issue: www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxGg9txrSD0 [1:45]
2 - Experiencing the delight of being with our child!
"...delighting in the baby..."
Practical: Stop. Look into their eyes. Laugh together.
Class One
14 Cheshvan 5780, November 12, 2019
1. Regarding the importance of joy in our homes and ourselves:
"The success of children’s chinuch is connected to their emotional state. [Therefore, it is important] that [even when the parent faces difficulties,] they see their mother going about her affairs with contentment and inner peace, and that she encourages them so that they too can live in contentment and happiness."
(Likkutei Sichos, vol. 35, p. 269)
2. Not to worry that we are, G-d forbid "ruining" our children, or "traumatizing" them when we make mistakes. G-d is taking care of each one of our children. We need only do our best with joy and faith!
"Every child is a child of Hakadosh Baruch Hu {our Father in Heaven). The physical father and mother are only the shluchim of Hakadosh Baruch Hu who were given the merit to give birth to the child, raise, and educate him."
(Hisvaaduyos 5747, volume 2, page 650)
3. The purpose of Chinuch is to raise a child in holiness and G-dliness.
"The entire purpose of Chinuch is to change the nature of one's habits. By nature, a child does whatever he feels like, with no inhibitions. As the pasuk puts it "The imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth" (Bereishis 8:21). [This attests to this fact regarding human nature.] Therefore one must educate him, in order to limit and change one's nature, until the mind rules over the heart. This also applies to the chinuch of adults: The objective is also to change one's nature to reach a higher level."
(Sefer Hasichos 5747, volume 1, page 74)
